Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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