we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
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Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
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I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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