And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
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we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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