i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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