Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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