The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize