Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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