Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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