this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
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Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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