ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
