I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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