He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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