I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
