I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
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Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize