Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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