i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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