remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
