I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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