i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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