matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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