he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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