There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
