He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
