I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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