I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
