im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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