I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.