the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Non-Jews are for practice
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
