Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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