My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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