wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize