When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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