Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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