i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize