hell yes lets make some ravioli
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
