I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
