the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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