wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
