Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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