Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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