I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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