I have demons in me.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
there is glitter all over my balls
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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