I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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