Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize