I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
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i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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