Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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