Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat