wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.