My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.