My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She told me I should be a condom model.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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