just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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