I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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